Monday, September 8, 2008

The World Will Be Saved by the National Enquirer

Never has a tabloid been so crucial in an election...nevermind a Presidential election. Actually, The National Enquirer is my go-to source for all things scuzzy, disreputable, potentially career-ending, but TRUE dirt on celebs and hypocritical politicos. I am placing all bets on The Enquirer to uncover the dirt that matters about Sarah "faux Hillary" Palin. You can run, Sarah, but you can't hide behind a moose (moose cliches already worn out but I hadn't used my cliche allotment yet), or little Trig, for that matter.

I have total confidence that The Enquirer will ferret out, and dole out the dough, to find out the details of Sarah's affair with First Dude's business partner back in the go-go 90's, despite all attempts of the McPains to seal all divorce files. If I didn't know better, I'd have thought that Sarah read Shakespeare in one of her 5 colleges, as this runner-up beauty queen puts Lady Macbeth to shame. But I doubt it. There's so much more one can skew SP with, but I'm not going to expend any more energy on her...I'm leaving that for The Enquirer, and when they do, they should get the Nobel Peace Prize for averting a McPain administration that would have us at war around the planet.

Enough said. I can't wait for the next issue: http://www.nationalenquirer.com/

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