Thursday, September 19, 2013

A Two State Solution. For The Taliban GOP/Tea Party & Everyone Else.

You think the Middle East is locked in a cultural stalemate? Heh, look in your own backyard. If this isn't a clone of the Israeli/Palestinian deadlock, I don't know what is. The Taliban Tea Party - hey, you have to admire how much power they wield for such an incoherent minority - has driven this country to the brink of madness and the only way to fix this is just like the Middle East. The only solution is a two state solution. Here it is: Give them the South - except for Louisiana because we don't them to fuck up New Orleans.

Ok, so there are some nice folks in the South. We'll give them ample time to get themselves together to emigrate to the Normal North. Then, we will build a 'separation barrier', as it's called in Israel, exactly like the wall they have between Israel and the West Bank, and exactly like the one them Tea Baggers want along the border with Mexico. Nobody will bother them. They can carry on and do whatever the fuck they please, shoot guns at will, use magic potions for healthcare and thrive on a meth-based economy. President Ted Cruz can even be the paternal, insane dictator of the United States of Tea Party he so desperately wants to be and those Tea Baggers can say god whenever they goddam please and pray all day long...cause they're gonna need it.

The Two State Solution can't come soon enough because, just as the Middle East can explode at any time, so too, can this cultural ticking time bomb between the Tea Baggers and Everyone Else erupt while we are all passively sitting around wringing our hands. 

I wrote about the Taliban Tea Party back on April 8, 2011 and here it is again as it still stands:

Tea Party Taliban Imposing Sharia-like Law

With the imminent shutdown of the government by the Teabaggers - make no mistake, they are the ones whose intractability is pushing this country to the brink - they are beginning to look a lot like a cult enacting their own type of Sharia law by imposing their repressive and regressive moral code onto all of us 'non-believers'. NO health screenings for women, NO sex education in school, NO abortion counseling or abortion funding NO matter how you got pregnant, NO arts funding, "Waste of money!", NO learning to read, write or 'rithmetic, "Cut education funding. Now!" It's the uneducated hating to learn anything because it might upset their vacuous core 'values'. And god forbid anyone else should read a book and find out that the Philistine Teabaggers are all full of shit. NO climate change. NO birth certificate. NO government. NONONONONO. 

So, the Tea Party is taking a page out of the Al Qaeda handbook. For al-Qaeda, Sharia represents a perfect system for ordering human affairs. And for the Taliban Tea Party, that is exactly how they want the system to be: no room for diversity of thought, a strict adherence to their commandments or punishment by slow asphyxiation of the mind by depriving one of books, classrooms and learning. They want a country devoid of creative thinking, going down the slippery slope to next banning hip hop, all languages but bad English, and just shooting immigrants on site.

Wikipedia calls the Tea party an American populist party and goes on to describe Populism, as a political philosophy urging social and political system change that favors "the people" over "the elites", or favors the common people over the rich and wealthy business owners. Read that, per the Tea Party, as deriding anything that can help “the people” like crushing collective bargaining (I wonder if they know about the Triangle Fire and other apocalyptic worker tragedies and child labor that would still be going on today if it weren’t for collective bargaining aka unions.) And read that as the Tea Party turning the other cheek with regard to obscene corporations, “the elites” (the Kochs), making out like Jesse James in Vegas. As usual, they have everything ass-backwards. 

Here’s their mission from their website: “A community committed to standing together, shoulder to shoulder, to protect our country and the Constitution upon which we were founded!” Yes! With an exclamation mark 'n all! It’s like somebody in grade two wrote it. Or the Republican caucus. Meaningless drivel, and yet the political muscle of their miniscule minions is stupefying.